Is This Forbidden?
by cinderella9056
Summary: When Brenda is injured Brandon and Brenda find out they really are not brother and sister how will this change their relationship? or will it? will it change their relationships with Dylan and Kelly? read and find out please review first fic chapter one updated
1. Chapter 1

IS THIS FORBIDDEN?

Disclaimer: I do not own Beverly Hills 90210 or any of the characters that you recognize from the show

A/N: I am new at writing and would like your input so please review

Chapter One

Brandon had always thought his sister was beautiful, but with this new revelation he didn't know what to think or feel. Brenda was lying in a hospital bed and they didn't know if she was going to make it or not. Sitting slumped in the uncomfortable hospital chair he thought back over the events that took place the day before

_Brandon, Jim and Cindy were at home relaxing, Brenda had gone out on a date. The telephone rang, startling Jim out of his quiet read-through of the day's paper; he jumped up to answer the shrill ringing, unaware of the consequences that phone call would create._

_"Hello?" _

_"Hi Sir, this is Cedars-Sinai Medical Center calling in regards to Brenda Walsh. Who am I speaking to?" The female voice replied._

_"I'm Brenda's father, Jim, Is my daughter okay?" Nerves and panic creeping up on him at the woman's tone._

_"My name is Nancy Brown, I'm a nurse working on Brenda's case. There was a car accident and Brenda needs surgery right away, but we need parental consent to perform any operations. We need you to get down here as soon as you can."_

_"We're leaving right now; we'll be ten minutes tops." _

_Jim hung up, throwing the phone on the table and yelling for his wife and son. Concern and worry for Brenda overwhelming him._

_"What is it Jim?" Cindy asked as she came from the kitchen; Brandon was coming down the stairs._

_"Brenda's at the hospital there was an accident, they need us down there so they can operate." _

_"Is Brenda going to be okay?" Brandon asked as fear gripped his heart, wondering how bad the accident was._

_"They didn't say." _

_Jim hurried his family out of the door, locking it behind him as they headed for the car. As they made their way to the hospital each member hoped it wasn't too serious, desperately praying for the best. _

_Upon arrival the family unit rushed into the hospital, up to the front desk asking for information on Brenda. The receptionist directed them to the Emergency Room's Waiting Room where a nurse would greet them._

_"Are you Brenda Walsh's family?" A woman in scrubs asked._

_"I'm her father, Jim Walsh, this is her mother Cindy and her brother Brandon. Can you tell us what happened?" _

_"I'm Nancy. the one who called; I need you to sign some forms so we can begin operating on your daughter Mr Walsh. Dr. Matthews will be out in a moment to talk to you about Brenda's condition. I'll grab the forms, give me just a minute." _

_Whe walked off and came back with a folder. Jim began filling out the forms and signing as needed when the doctor came out and introduced himself to the family._

_"I am Doctor Matthews; I'll be operating on Brenda. I know you have questions about what happened; the police are waiting to talk to you about the accident as well. We need to operate because there's internal bleeding and we're not sure how much as of yet. Her spleen may be ruptured as well. We know she has a broken leg and a sprained wrist. She's lost a lot of blood and unfortunately she's a rare blood type which means we have low levels stored here at the hospital. If any of you share the AB-Negative and could donate that would greatly help your daughter and sister__."_

_Brandon looked at the doctor hardly believing that Brenda could really be in that bad of a condition._

_ "Is she going to be okay? How did this happen?_

_"I'm afraid I don't know the details but the police will be able to tell you those specifics. Are any of you a match for her blood type?"_

_"I'm her twin brother, so shouldn't I be a match for her?"_

_ Brandon was anxious. Jim and Cindy __looked at each other, they knew Brandon and Brenda weren't a match because Brenda wasn't their biological daughter. They realized they needed to say something to the doctor because none of them were a match._

_"Doctor, none of us are a match, Brenda, she's not our biological daughter." _

_Brandon swiveled toward his parents shocked. _

_"What are you talking about? Brenda is my twin sister." _

_He yelled at his parents, looking at them like they had lost their marbles. Why would they say something like that? Especially at a time like this!_

_"Brandon we will talk about this later." _

_Jim's tone told him they would talk later, now was not the time to get into a long, painful conversation. Especially in front of the doctor who was about to operate on Brenda._

_"Brenda's blood type is AB-Negative Brandon; none of us will match her doctor." _

_Cindy calmly informed them both._

_"We'll take some supplies from the blood bank. I'll go and prep your daughter for surgery and leave you with Nurse Brown. She'll take you to the waiting room."_

_He hurried off and all the family could do was turn to Nurse Brown and follow her to the waiting room where they would do nothing but wait for news-good or bad-about Brenda's surgery._

_During the wait the police found the Walsh family and introduced themselves, informing them of her accident. Brian Devaux purposefully caused the accident after Brenda told him she didn't want to stay with him after he started drinking and wanted to return home. They arrested him and currently had him in custody._

_Jim, Cindy and Brandon were horrified that Brian had caused the accident on purpose. Brandon felt anger bubbling up at the thought of Devaux causing **his** Brenda pain, but was glad he was in police custody._

_ The police went on to say they would be questioning Brian further and taking a statement from Brenda as soon as she was stable. They left after wishing her a speedy recovery._

_Brandon turned toward his parents, he was confused and wanted answers so he demanded them._

_ "How can Brenda not be my sister? Who are her parents? Where are they? Are you my biological parents?" _

_"Yes, Brandon, you are our biological son," Cindy began. "Brenda's biological mother was my best friend. We were due at the same time. Complications arose with Tina Bender-that was her name-as she was giving birth, she died as she had Brenda. She had been told that she would have a high-risk pregnancy, there was a risk of losing her life carrying full term, but she loved Brenda too much, she couldn't abort her no matter what happened to herself."_

_"Tina asked Jim and I, that if something happened to her, that we would raise her baby. When she died during child birth, I had gone into labor with you not too long after she died, we, we brought you and Brenda home from the hospital together. Since you were born on the same day we let you both believe you were brother and sister. We fell in love with Brenda the moment we saw her. Tina's last wish was for Brenda to have Jim and I listed as her parents and the doctor consented._

_"We never told Brenda or you that you weren't siblings because we wanted to protect you guys when you were younger, and then, we, we just didn't know how to tell you. It was a decision that Jim and I made together, not to tell you. We just didn't know how to."_

_Brandon was shocked, but he had more questions, like who was Brenda's father._

_"Where's Brenda's father?" _

_"Greg Bender died before she was born, in a car accident. Tina was alone, except for Cindy and me. We were her family. She was like a sister to your mom. We love you and we love Brenda. She is our daughter and she always will be."_

_Brandon could only stare at his dad._

_"After Brenda's surgery and she gets better and can handle it, are you going to tell her the truth? Or am I?" _

_He looked both of them in the eye._

_"She deserves to know the truth." _

_He was reeling from what he had just found out. Brenda was not his sister. How will that affect their relationship now?_

_ In a way he's glad; there had been times that he would wonder about Brenda, and not in a brotherly kind of way. She's a beautiful woman and sometimes he would wonder what would happen if they weren't brother and sister. Brenda had always been his ideal woman; now, he knew Brenda wasn't his sister. How would she take the news? He couldn't keep this from her._

_"Brandon we don't want her to know right away. She's going to need time to recuperate from surgery. She doesn't need this on top of recovery." _

_ Cindy explained. She knows in her heart that he's right. Brenda does deserve to know the truth about her birth parents, but she was worried about how Brenda would take the news she wasn't really Jim and hers' daughter. They thought of her as their own; they just had to make sure Brenda knew that they love her just as much as they do Brandon._

_"Brenda deserves to know the truth. I can't keep it from her. I won't keep it from her. You lied to us for almost twenty years and I won't support that by not telling her. I'll wait till she's on the mend but I will be telling her. I'll do what's best for her. I'll even ask the doctor and se when he thinks it's best to tell her, when he thinks she can handle it."_

_Brandon looks his parents in the eye; he isn't asking for permission._

_"You had no right keeping this from us. We deserve to know the truth. Brenda deserves to know who her parents really are, were and what happened to them."_

_"We did what we thought was best." _

_Cindy spat, agitated and annoyed with having to explain herself to Brandon._

_"We thought it was better for both of you if believed you were brother and sister. As far as we are concerned, Brenda and you, Brandon, are our children. I protected Brenda and you, which is my job as your father. I didn't want Brenda to feel like she didn't belong. i will not apologize for doing that I thought was the right thing to do."_

_"It wasn't right though Dad. Brenda deserves to know who her mother and father were, and so do I."_

_ Brandon paced back and forth around the waiting room. wondering how long before the surgery was finished. He knows it hasn't really been that long but it feels like an eternity already._

_"Brandon, we did this so Brenda wouldn't wonder who her parents were and why they weren't there for her. We gave her a family that she wouldn't have had. We gave her stability and if she had known that she wasn't our daughter then she might have doubted herself, instead she has turned into an amazing person." _

_Cindy defended herself about lying to her children. _

_"Brenda means as much to us as you do. Jim and I are her parents. We raised her. We have loved her. We have protected her. We have been there for her. I love her and I would do anything for her just like I would for you. You may not approve of what we did, but we did what we thought was best for the both of you."_

_"Brenda and I should have been told the truth. Maybe we wouldn't have understood it when we were younger, but we would have understood it once we got older. You both should have told us. You were wrong for not telling us the truth." _

_Brandon felt tears prickling at his eyes. Turning away from his parents he slumped into one of the chairs that sat against a wall and dropped his head to his hands. He began attempting processing everything he just learnt._


	2. Chapter 2

9

IS THIS FORBIDDEN?

Disclaimer: I do not own Beverly Hills 90210 or any of the characters you recognize from the show

A/N: please review I am new at writing and want your input

Chapter Two

Brandon sits there holding Brenda's hand, worried about her, and also having all these conflicting emotions going on inside of him. The gang had come immediately, dropping everything when he had called them after the revelations his parents had made. He hadn't told any of them the truth about her. He loved Brenda; all these conflicting emotions- his feelings for her- were about to take him apart. He didn't know what to think or feel anymore. Brenda was the reason he was strong and without her he didn't know how to be.

After the gang had showed up, the doctor had come out of the OR and told them they had done everything they could for Brenda but she was in a coma. They didn't know if she would wake up.

Brandon was devastated. Brenda could die—she was his best friend, his confidant-he couldn't lose her. He needed her like he needed air to breathe. He didn't know if he could survive without her. They had always been a team.

Ever since the revelation of her not being his sister he had been thinking about how much she means to him. Was it just brotherly concern or something else? He was afraid it was something else.

She made him feel so much different than anyone else ever could. He could be himself with her and not worry what she would say. She understood him, but was that because they were _siblings _or was something else there? What If he saw her as something else? What about Kelly? How did he feel about Kelly now that he knew there was no blood between Brenda and him?

He wasn't sure if how he felt towards Brenda was that of a sister or as something more—did he love her as a woman? A woman that was indeed beautiful inside and out. She was certainly that, and he had been having dreams about her. Dreams where the last thing she was, was his sister; but dreams of her as a woman, and definitely not the kind of dreams that a brother should be having about his sister.

He didn't know what to think or do. He wanted her to wake up. He would be okay if she just would wake up.

The doctors said that he could and should talk to her, but he wasn't sure what to say.

His parents were down in the cafeteria and so he sat alone in her hospital room, trapped with his own thoughts for company; he didn't know what to say, or do, or feel. For once he didn't know what to say to her. He'd always been able to talk to her, even when he couldn't talk to anyone else he could talk to her. Now he couldn't even do that—all because he didn't know how he felt.

The doctors had said immediate family only. Only he and his parents were allowed to see Brenda. The gang wanted to see her; Dylan had gotten angry when he had been told that he couldn't see her. He had tried to get the doctor to let him see her but Dr. Matthews refused said it was only family at this time.

Brandon couldn't take much more of just sitting here, his anger was festering and the one thing that always calmed him down was unconscious beside him. Brenda had always had, had a calming effect on him, even at his most angry she could always talk him down. They had always thought it was because they were twins and shared that bond twins have, but now knowing that's not true he wondered why she did have that effect on him. Was it because of the ways she made him feel, like she was the only person who would ever understand him and love him unconditionally? No matter what his flaws were? No matter what he did she would always be there for him?

God he hoped she would wake up soon, he needed her to be okay. He needed her to tell him that things would work out, that everything would be okay, that she would always be there, that she would always get him through everything and to see what she felt for him after she found out they weren't the blood relatives they thought they were-brother and sister.

He wanted to tell her all of this but he couldn't, the words were stuck in his throat and she was in a coma. What if she heard him? The doctors said that comatose patients can hear what is being said around them.

He couldn't take that chance. His heart hurt seeing her like this, tubes and wires attached to her, a cast on her right leg and a brace on her right wrist, he was holding her left hand, stroking his thumb across the back, hoping she could feel it.

Brenda and Brandon had always stood together, through everything, and he needed her like he needed air to breathe-she was everything to him. Always had been and always would be, he suddenly realized.

He wanted to tell her but he couldn't bring himself to do it. She still didn't know that they weren't siblings and he didn't know how she would feel about all of that. He knew she would be hurt by what she was going to be told once she woke up. He had to believe that she would wake up, otherwise he would go insane.

He loved her. He loved everything about her, even how stubborn she is. How would she react to this? He wondered; he needed her in his life. He wanted and needed a chance with her. He wanted her in a way that he had never wanted a woman before. He couldn't tell her this, not yet anyway.

He would tell her as soon as she was able to handle it. She just had to wake up first.

Their friends were waiting; he thought of Dylan who had gotten so angry when he was told he couldn't see Brenda. Kelly had stolen Dylan from Brenda, then Kelly and Dylan broke up and Kelly had begun dating Brandon. Dylan obviously still cared about Brenda, something Kelly didn't like.

Brenda loved Dylan once, but did she still? Brandon wasn't sure; she had stopped talking about him and wasn't crying herself to sleep anymore-had she moved on?

Dylan had hurt her so much when he chose Kelly over her, but when he—Dylan—had heard what the doctor said about her condition, he hit the wall. Kelly didn't like that at all, which didn't bother Brandon as much as he thought it should since he and her were together.

What would happen when Dylan did see Brenda again? He acted like he still loved her? Would she take him back?

Brandon wished he had some answers. He wasn't sure what to do; all he knew was that he needed to be there for Brenda. He couldn't leave her, no matter the outcome, no matter what else happened, they'd figure the rest out later. He didn't have it in him to leave her. He wanted her and he loved her-he needed her. He knew he could never leave her, not now, not ever.

He knew this but he still didn't know what to do. He wondered if she would ever see him as more than a brother—could and would she see him as a man if given the chance to?

As he sat there lost in his thoughts he didn't hear the nurse enter, her voice startled him.

"Sir, I need you to move so I can check on Ms. Walsh."

"I'm sorry, I was just thinking I, and I didn't hear you come in."

He moved from his chair next to the bed off to the side of the room. He watched as the nurse took Brenda's vitals.

"How is she doing?" He couldn't' help but question. He wanted to know if she was improving any. He had only heard bad news from the doctors so far, he hoped the nurse would give him some good-at least she was still alive.

"She's doing okay, her vitals are good. We're just waiting for Ms. Walsh to wake up." She could tell Brandon was really worried about Brenda—Ms. Walsh, anyone could just tell that he was. He hadn't left her since he had been allowed in to see her. He's been a constant, not even going out to stretch his legs or get a breath of fresh air. "Is there anything else that you need before I leave?"

"I just need her to wake up and be okay. That's what I need." He could only look at the nurse.

"I'll take my leave." She left the room hoping for his sake that Ms. Walsh would be okay because she had a feeling if Brenda was lost they would lose Brandon too.

After the nurse's departure Brandon was hit hard by the actuality of Brenda's condition. He refused to leave her alone for even a minute. The nurse didn't ask Brandon to step out of the room while she checked vitals, because she knew he wouldn't leave her, it was a lost cause.

Instead she continued down the hall running into Jim and Cindy Walsh.

"Nurse, how is our daughter, Brenda Walsh, doing?" Cindy asks.

"I was just in to check her vitals, which were good. She's holding her own."

"Thank you." Jim replies.

As the nurse continues down the hall Jim and Cindy enter Brenda's hospital room.

Brandon looked up when he heard someone enter, "The nurse was just in, she said Brenda's vital signs are good."

Brandon was back in the chair next to her bed, holding her hand, caressing it with his thumb.

"We ran into her in the hall, she told us. Have you talked to Brenda?" Jim inquired of his son.

"No. I don't know what to say to her right now. I don't want to talk to her about _that_ right now, so I'm not sure what to say. The doctors say that she can hear us and that is not something she needs to hear right now."

Brandon doesn't want them to know what he's thinking in regards to his feelings for Brenda, not right now anyway.

When Brenda awakens and is doing okay and he's told her about her real parentage, and he's helped her deal with that, then she will be told of his feelings for her. Her reaction will depend on whether or not he'd be willing to talk to his parents about what he was feels for her. Right now he couldn't tell his parents how he feels about Brenda. She deserves to know how he feels about her before anyone else does. After she wakes up he'll give her time to deal with her family situation before he lays this on her. He has time though; Brenda will take a while to come to terms with everything.

All of a sudden Brenda's heart monitor went off and a flat line goes across the screen and Brandon freaks out. "Brenda don't you die on me. I love you, please don't do this."

The door opens; a crash cart, nurses and a doctor come in and tell Cindy, Jim and Brandon they need to leave the room.

The family makes their way to the waiting room where they see the gang still waiting.

"What's going on?" Dylan asks

"Brenda, her, her heart monitor went off and the, the nurses and doctors came in with a, with a crash cart. She, she flat lined." Jim told the group—Dylan, Kelly, Andrea, Steve, David and Donna.

Kelly moved over to Brandon and tried to put her arms around him but he shrugs her off.

"Not now Kelly."

He starts pacing, not believing everything that's happened. The person he loves the most just flat lined and he didn't want anyone comforting him. All he needed was Brenda not to die, He felt her still, she wasn't dead.

Kelly was hurt that Brandon wouldn't let her comfort him. She'd always been jealous of Brenda and she didn't like the way Dylan was acting. She wanted them both to lean on her. She didn't care about Brenda; she was only at the hospital because everyone else was. Well she was Brandon's girlfriend, she was here for him, but she didn't understand why he didn't want her to comfort him. Brenda was only his sister. Kelly should be more important, she didn't understand why he pushed her away. He should be leaning on her for support, not in the room with Brenda all the time.

Finally the doctor came out and Brandon stopped pacing, making a bee-line to his parents to see what news the doctor had to share.

"She's okay and is waking up. What you witnessed was a reaction to one of the medications which we took care of and switched for a different one. Her heart's fine. We took out several of the tubes since she no longer needs them anymore. I believe she will be okay. She is asking for Brandon."

Brandon's anxiety calmed and amplified all at once. "Thank you doctor, can I go see her now?"

"You can go now."

Before Brandon could dart off down the hall Dylan spoke up.

"Doctor, when can the rest of us see her?" He needed to see that she was-is alright for himself.

"It will still be a while for anyone other than family. She's stable but still in critical condition. Her injuries are rather extensive still and I don't want her too overwhelmed with a lot of visitors."

Kelly notices the smile that appeared on Brandon's face before he left for Brenda's room.

Brandon opens the door and sees her lying in bed with her eyes closed. Sensing him Brenda opens her eyes.

"Hey Brenda, you scared me." Brandon says as a tear runs down his cheeks. "I love you" He needed to tell her this, even though she thought he means it platonically, it's not what he means, but it would do for now.

"Brandon I love you too, so very much, you're my best friend. I'm okay, I hurt, but I know I'll be okay. Why don't you come over here and give me a hug?" Brenda stretches her arms out.

Brandon walks over and holds her in his arms, afraid to let go. He needed her, he couldn't tell her that yet.

She didn't know they weren't brother and sister—yet- but soon she would. Then he would tell of his feelings for her. He didn't care what anyone thought he wanted her. He loved her, not as a brother loves a sister, but as a man loves a woman.

He would have to break the news to Kelly; he couldn't be with someone when his heart belonged to another.

"Brandon I'm okay."

"I know you are, but I almost lost you. I wouldn't be able to stand it if I lost you. I love you." He was speaking from his heart, finally letting go, not wanting to hurt her.

Brenda can feel the external reminders of the damages done to her; the brace on her arm, the cast on her leg and stitches that litter her abdomen.

She doesn't want to let go of Brandon. He was who she thought about when Brian had sent the car into oncoming traffic. She remembered thinking about Brandon, how she wouldn't be seeing him again. She thought she was going to die and her last thought was of him. She didn't think of Dylan or anyone else, just Brandon—what did that mean?

He was the last thing in her mind's eye as her side of the car was hit. Brandon, wearing just a towel, fresh out of the shower-or how she imagined he'd be. What did that mean?

Did it mean she was attracted to her own brother? That couldn't be it, could it?

She didn't know but she knew she couldn't be attracted to him. He was her brother. She knew that he was handsome and according to her friends he was the hottest guy in high school. She agreed but she shouldn't be thinking of him like that, it was inappropriate. She just needed to get the image of him in a towel out of her mind, which was a lot harder to do than she thought.

Brandon can tell Brenda's lost in her thoughts. "What are you thinking about?"

"You" she blurts out and blushes.

"What about me?" That blush gave him hope. He wonders what could've caused it, especially about him—could she feel something besides love for a brother for him?

"It's silly really, you were the last thing I thought about when Brian steered the car into oncoming traffic and my side was hit. I thought I was going to die and you are the last thought I had." She explains, making sure to leave out that he was only clad in a towel. Speaking it out loud—well mostly out loud—she knew she was attracted to her own brother.


	3. Chapter 3

IS THIS FORBIDDEN?

Disclaimer: I do not own Beverly Hills 90210 or any of the characters you recognize from the show

A/N: please review I am new to writing and really want your input; thank you to my beta

Chapter Three

The Next Morning Dr. Matthews came in to Brenda's hospital room, still in the ICU. Brandon had spent the night so she wouldn't be alone; she knew Brandon was keeping something from her-she could just tell. She knew Brandon as well as she knew herself. He was watching her. At first she thought it was because she had almost died, but that didn't take into account the heat in his eyes. If she didn't know any better she'd say he wanted her. That was preposterous! He was her brother- so why was she feeling like she did; she didn't want to go there. She was also afraid of what Brandon saw in her own eyes. She didn't know why, but she'd been dreaming about him.

Dr. Matthews checked Brenda over with Brandon in the room, he refused to leave; they had decided to move her to a room of her own, outside the ICU, where she could receive visitors. Brenda still couldn't do much because of her wrist brace and cast on her leg, but she was glad to be out of the ICU; it was one step closer to going home, which is what she desperately wanted. Brandon helped her get into the wheelchair and very carefully, followed Dr. Matthews up to thenewly arranged room for Brenda. As she was getting settled in with the help of Brandon, she asked when she could go home.

"Depending on how you do, maybe tomorrow or the next day, as long as you rest once you're home."

"I can't do much else." Brenda jokes.

"Brenda, I am serious. You have stitches you can't afford to rip them open; you need to take it easy for a while. You'll have that brace for a couple weeks before it can come off, and that cast on your leg for six weeks. You won't be able to do a lot, you will need help."

Brandon pipes in, wanting her home with him so he can figure out what to do and how to tell Brenda he's in love with her, that he wants to have a relationship with her- "She'll have help! I'll help her in any way I can, so will my parents." His choice of words were deliberate, he couldn't bring himself to call Jim and Cindy Brenda's parents because they weren't. Even though they loved her like she was their own.

"See doc you have nothing to worry about. I'll be taken care of. Can I go home now?"

"No, not yet. Need I remind you that you were in a car accident that almost killed you? You were in critical condition and in a coma less than twenty-four hours ago. We have to make sure you're going to be okay when we do send you home, we don't want you to relapse. It will be at the earliest tomorrow, or the day after, unless problems arise before I release you."

Dr. Matthews took his leave after making sure Brenda was comfortable. Brandon follows him out.

"Doctor Matthews, can I have a word with you, about Brenda?"

"Sure, what can I help you with?"

"I, I need to know when you think she'll be able to handle being told about her biological parents. They're dead and she doesn't even know that my parents aren't her parents, and I know this will be a shock for her. I need to know when I can tell her. I can't keep this from her now that I know."

Dr. Matthews had to choose his words carefully.

"Brandon tread carefully with this, I'm not sure how Brenda will take it, physically she should be fine. Give her today and tell her tomorrow morning, we'll see how she reacts. I want to be there when you tell her about her parents, just a precaution. Are you also going to tell her how you feel about her?"

"What do you mean?" Brandon attempted to play dumb, looking down at the floor.

"Brandon, I've seen how you are with her and I know you're in love with her. Only a man in love would be like you are with her."

"I didn't know it was that obvious." Brandon is clearly upset if this doctor—this stranger-can tell how he feels about Brenda, could everyone else too?

"Most people see what they expect to see. Everyone thinks she's your sister so they expect to see that love a brother has for his sister so that's what they see. I see a man who loves a woman because I didn't know you before her accident." Dr. Matthew tells Brandon of his observations.

"I love her and I don't know what to do."

"My advice would be to take it slow. She'll need time to adjust to who her parents really are and that Jim and Cindy Walsh aren't her parents. Give her time and you might just be surprised about what happens."

Dr. Matthews walks away and Brandon heads back into Brenda's room thinking. He knows he doesn't have much time to spend with her before his parents and their friends get there—that includes Kelly. He doesn't know what to do about her.

"Where'd you go?" Brenda inquires.

"Just to talk to the Dr. about something, nothing important."

She looks at Brandon and can see he's not telling her the truth but she decides not to call him on it, if he wants her to know he'd tell her. He would tell her eventually-he always did.

Brandon takes up the seat to the left side of the bed and takes hold of Brenda's hand. "I was really scared that I was going to lose you Bren. I don't think I could handle that. No, I know I couldn't handle that."

"Brandon, I'm okay, nothing happened to me." Brenda tries to reassure Brandon.

"I can't lose you, especially when my life is a mess, I need you." He says passionately, knowing it would have killed him if she wasn't okay. He rubs the hand in his.

"Is something else wrong? I know you, I can see it in your eyes, what is it? I want to help you."

"Bren, you're the only one I know, lying in a hospital bed after almost dying, would be concerned about what a mess I made of things. You should be concerned about the fact you're not going to be able to go to London. You were due to leave in a couple days." Brandon isn't surprised she was thinking of him instead of herself. "Brenda, you don't need to hear about my problems when you're lying in a hospital bed."

"Come on Brandon, what else do I have to do? I want to keep my mind off the fact that I don't get to go to London. Talk to me, tell me what's wrong maybe I can help."

With a sigh, Brandon tells her, "Okay Bren, It's me and Kelly." He knows Brenda isn't a big fan of Kelly, in fact if she was capable of really hate someone, it would be Kelly. "I don't know how to break up with her and tell her that I don't want to be with her anymore. When she came to D.C., I was so happy to see her and I thought I loved her, but now I realize I don't. She loves me, but I'm not in love with her anymore. We've only been back a day when the call came that you were at the hospital. She's not going to understand why I don't want to be with her after she just broke up with Dylan. What am I going to do?"

Brenda glances around the room before settling her stare on Brandon once again, "I'm not the best person to be asking this to, mostly because it is Kelly. But, I would sit down and talk to her, tell her you don't love like that. and you don't want to be with her anymore. There's no way around it Brandon. Sure she's going be hurt, but this gives her a chance to get over you and find someone who can love her."

"What if that someone is Dylan, how would you feel about that?" Brandon could care less if it really is Dylan Kely finds love with, he just wants to know if Brenda still loves him.

"Brandon, Dylan was my first in so many ways, first love, first lover, first boyfriend, my first relationship, but no matter what happened between us I thought I would always love him. I don't think I do anymore. I spent the night with him the other night, it was different than before. I didn't feel like I did. I think I needed to realize it was really over and that night I got it. I love him as a friend, not as a lover, so whoever he's with isn't my business, even if it is Kelly."

Brandon was shocked and slightly confused; "You spent the night with him and you think you are finally over him? Are you really over him or are you deluding yourself like you did with Stuart?"

"Yes I am finally over him." She rolled her eyes. "I realized something when I thought I was going to die. Dylan is not the love of my life, neither was Stuart; that guy is still out there somewhere and I want to find him."

Before Brandon could respond the door opened and in walked Dylan. He had arrived before anyone else and finding out that Brenda was moved out of ICU, his heart rejoiced-she would be okay. Dylan would give anything for Brenda to come back to him. He was hopeful she would, especially after the other night. He realized he still loved her and always would; now that she wasn't going to London, they could spend the summer together.

"Brenda am I glad to see you! The doctor wouldn't let me in to see you while you were in ICU. Said it was only immediate family, but, uh, I have something I want to talk to you about, alone. Can you leave us a moment Brandon?"

"No." Brandon didn't want to leave Brenda alone with anyone, especially Dylan. He didn't want to chance Dylan wanting another chance with her, let along trying—and possibly succeeding- to change her mind about being with him.

Brenda and Dylan looked at Brandon; his jaw set, signaling he was not going to leave.

Brenda gave him one of her full, bright smiles, "It's okay Brandon, I'll talk to him, give us a few minutes okay?"

"Are you sure?" Brandon was worried about what Dylan had to say; he was sure he knew.

"Yes." Brenda wasn't really up to talking to Dylan but she knew it had to be done.

"I just want to talk to her for a few minutes, I won't hurt her." A slightly confused Dylan said to Brandon; why was he being like this?

Brandon thinks Dylan hurt Brenda enough for a dozen lifetimes but doesn't say what he's thinking out loud. He leans over and presses a kiss to Brenda's forehead, quietly telling her he would be just on the other side of the door and call him if she needed him.

Brenda felt his kiss and knew she shouldn't be feeling this way about her brother, especially with just a kiss to her forehead. She felt hot and didn't understand why.

Dylan is even more confused now; he's never seen Brandon do that before. If he didn't know any better he would say that Brandon's acting like a jealous boyfriend. He couldn't hear what was whispered between the two, but he knew it was something. He silently watches as Brandon leaves the room.

"What do you want Dylan?" Brenda's afraid she already knows the answer.

"I want you. Back in my arms again, back in my life as my girlfriend."

"No, Dylan, I can't be with you. Not again. You hurt me too much. How could I trust you again? I need someone I can trust in my life and that's not you."

"I thought the other night proved to you that I've changed since high school. I won't cheat on you again; can't you give me a chance to make you happy?"

"How could you make me happy when I don't love you anymore? I want someone to love me and he's not you. I thought it was until you cheated on me with Kelly. And the other night, that wasn't like it used to be, not for me. I thought I was going to die and the last thought I had before my side of the car was hit, it wasn't you that crossed my mind.

"What we had was good but it never would have stood a chance in time, we'd have broken up. This isn't the first time we've had thoughts of another person, this time though you actually slept with someone. You slept with Kelly. You chose Kelly and that hurt me, a lot. I've just got my life back together and you decide you want me back; you should have thought about who has always been there for you, through everything."

"I love you, Bren. I never stopped. No matter what or who I was with, I'll always be here for you. If you ever change your mind I'll be here." Dylan's broken heart was evident.

Brenda offers a sad smile, "Dylan, I want you to find someone to love and who will love you back, that person isn't me. You're an extraordinary man who's capable of anything you set your mind to. Find someone who can fully appreciate that. I've changed too much to be that person for you. I will always love you, but I'm just not in love with you anymore."

Dylan can only give a curt nod before turning and leaving the room. Brandon notices his head is hung and he doesn't offer a goodbye; Brandon quickly returns inside and to Brenda's side.

"What happened?" He questions; hoping the stiff departure was due to Brenda not taking Dylan back.

"Dylan told me he loved me and wanted me back. I hated hurting him, but I am not in love with him anymore. The Kelly thing, he really hurt me, too much for me to trust him with my heart again. They both trampled all over it; I couldn't let him do it again. I want to love someone again, but that person isn't going to be Dylan."

Brandon was elated. "You'll find someone Bren, who know, that person may be closer than you think." He smiles down at her; her mind flashes back to Brandon in just a towel. Nothing but a towel, fresh of a shower-why was she thinking of Brandon like that? She was deluded. She needed help. She couldn't be attracted to her own brother. It was just wrong.

"What's the matter, you're suddenly very pale and you look like you've seen a ghost."

"Nothing, I was just thinking, nothing worth mentioning." Their eyes lock and the tension in the room becomes palpable. They just stare, staying like that until the door opened revealing Kelly-their trance was broken.

Kelly, oblivious to the moment she just walked in on, makes her way to Brandon and kisses him. He doesn't respond. Brenda sees this and she feels jealous. No, that can't be right, she couldn't feel like this, he's her brother.

"Kelly what do you think you're doing?" Brandon's upset for her for kissing him in front of Brenda. He deliberately had not kissed her back.

"I'm kissing my boyfriend, what does it look like I am doing? I wanted to see you and since you spend all your time here, I had to come here to see you." She complains, thinking only of herself, she stands in front of Brandon with her hands on her hips, not understanding what's going on with him.

"What the hell do you expect Kelly? Brenda almost died! I want to be with her. I'm not leaving this hospital until she does. You haven't even said hello to her or asked how she is, do you even care? You know what, I realized something over the last couple of day, I care about you Kelly, but I don't love you. I don't want to be with you."

Kelly is in shock "You're breaking up with me? What about what happened in D.C.?"

"Yes, Kelly, I am. You're not the person I thought you were, or you'd understand why I have to be here. As for D.C., it was fun and I thought I loved you, but I realized I was wrong. I'm sorry."

Kelly storms out, not saying a word to Brenda. She blames Brenda for Brandon breaking up with her.

Brandon looks at Brenda, who is trying not to smile. He had seen her face when Kelly had kissed him- he knew she was jealous. He hoped he read her correctly. There was hope! Brenda didn't know about her real parents, she didn't know they weren't actually siblings, but she would soon enough. Tomorrow he would he would tell her the truth.


	4. Chapter 4

IS THIS FORBIDDEN?

Disclaimer: I do not own Beverly Hills 90210 or the characters that you recognize

A/N: I am new at writing so please review so I know how I am doing and I want to thank my beta reader for helping me

CHAPTER FOUR

The next morning Brandon was anxiously waiting for his parents and Dr. Matthews. Brenda knew something was going on, she just didn't know what. Brenda was confused as to why Brandon was pacing around her hospital room. "Brandon, why are you so anxious? What is going on?"

Brandon didn't know what to say to her about why he was so anxious, He wasn't sure what he should say. The door opened, saving Brandon; in walked Jim and Cindy. They knew Brandon was going to tell Brenda the truth about her parents and wanted to be there for her, in case she had questions- which they knew she would.

Jim and Cindy were anxious themselves, but they were not pacing like Brandon was. Brandon hoped today would go well and soon he would be able to tell her about his feelings.

Brenda could tell that all three of them were anxious all the same; she could also tell that they were hiding something from her

"Okay, what is going on?"

Brenda wanted to know what had her parents and brother anxious.

"Is something wrong with me that they haven't told me about?" Brenda asked, worried something might be wrong with her.

"No, sweetheart, nothing like that." Jim began, "We just have something that we need to talk to you about and it's going to be hard for all of us. We are just waiting for Dr. Matthews to come in. He wanted to be here when we told you. Please, just wait till the doctor comes in and then we will tell you, okay?"

"I really want to know now but I'll wait. Why does the doctor want to be here? Was whatever you have to tell me that serious? Does the doctor know what it is?"

"Brenda-" Jim starts to say from the window, Cindy standing near by, as the door opens and in walks Dr. Matthews.

"Now will you tell me what is going on?" An annoyed Brenda asks, wanting to know what was going on-if it wasn't health related, what was it?

"We will in a minute Brenda, let me check you over first." Dr. Matthews takes his stethoscope out and checks her lungs, telling her to take deep breaths, then listening to her heart and checking her stomach. "You seem to be doing okay."

"Then can I go home?" She wants to know. She hates hospitals.

"Well, after we talk I will let you know."

"Why after we talk?"

"Okay Brenda, you can go home if you're doing this well later. Just let your brother and parents tell you what they have to tell you and then we'll talk about you going home."

"Brenda, I need to tell you something," Brandon begins. "When we got to the hospital after the accident, I found out something that I never knew. I want you to understand I didn't know either."

"Know what Brandon?" Concern creeping through her voice as she asks from her hospital bed.

Brandon sits down next to Brenda and takes her hand, "That Jim and Cindy are not your biological parents."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"He's right Brenda. My best friend Tina Bender was your biological mother. She died in childbirth. I was pregnant with Brandon at the same time; shortly after her death I gave birth to him. You were born on the same day. Tina asked Jim and me to take you and raise you as our own if anything happened to her, so we did. We didn't want you to feel like you weren't part of our family so we never told you about Tina. We love you. As far as Jim and I are concerned, you are our daughter."

"Why did she ask you to raise me?" To say she was shocked was an understatement.

"She was told something could go wrong during labor so she wanted to make sure that you were taken care of and loved. She knew Cindy and I would do that." Jim tells the young woman that he is proud to call his daughter; he walks to the bed on her right side.

"What about my father?"

"Greg Bender died in a car accident a couple months before you were born. Tina didn't have any family to speak of and Cindy and I were her family. She was like a sister to Cindy. You were very loved by Tina. Brenda, she loved you from the day she found out she was pregnant. The doctor asked her if she would have an abortion, she loved you too much to even consider it. She wanted you in the worse way Brenda. When she was in labor something went wrong, she started hemorrhaging and they couldn't stop it. She knew that she was going to die so she told the doctor to put down Cindy and me as your parents. The doctor agreed and not too long after that she died. Cindy had been in labor for several hours by that point. That's why you have the same birth date."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Brenda was close to tears.

Cindy approached Brenda, "We didn't tell you and Brandon because we wanted to give you a stable life, and knowing you weren't our biological daughter you could've doubted that we love you as much as Brandon. You are our daughter as far as we are concerned. The fact that I didn't carry you doesn't matter to me, you are my daughter. I love you just as much as I love Brandon. I am very proud of the amazing woman you have become." She brushes the hair away from Brenda's face.

"Brenda, do you have anymore questions? If not let's see if the doctor will let you come home." Brandon begins, knowing she's going to need time to process this. Speaking from his heart, "I love you and I always will. I will always be here for you." Turning to the doctor, "Now doctor, do you have any objections to her heading home?"

Dr. Matthews looks down at Brenda, "If you feel up to it I will get the paperwork and you can go home, but remember, you have to be careful. You still have stitches, a broken leg, and a sprained wrist. You're going to need help, a lot of it, for right now."

"I want to go home."

Dr. Matthews nods and leaves the room to gather up her paper work.

"I hope everyone knows I am going to need time to process all of this. This is a lot to handle." Brenda says quietly holding on to Brandon's hand.

"I'll help you Bren, I love you." Brandon tells her. He does love her, just not as his sister. Soon he would be able to do something about it-he hoped.

A nurse came in a few minutes later and took Brenda's vitals. They allowed Brandon to sign her papers for her since she couldn't. The instructions for her care were folded and placed in his pocket. He helped her into a wheelchair and began wheeling her out to his car. Jim and Cindy following behind; they wondered at Brandon's behavior but immediately dismissed it. He was her brother after all. They headed to the pharmacy to get Brenda's prescriptions filled, one for pain, the other antibiotics.

Brenda was thinking about all that she had learned and brooded about it on the way home. Brandon took notice and reached over and touched her shoulder, caressing it.

"Everything will be okay Brenda."

"Will it Brandon? I am so confused. You're not even my brother."

"Is that so bad? I love you Bren. I always will." Brandon says looking her in the eye for a moment before turning his attention back to the road.

What did he mean was that so bad? That confused her even more. Does Brandon love her like a sister or something more? She didn't know what to think. Was she now allowed to have those kinds of thoughts about Brandon now? Did Brandon just caress her shoulder for comfort or for something more? All these conflicting thoughts were running through her mind.

They pulled into the driveway and Brenda noticed everyone was there, waiting. Andrea, Steve, Kelly, Dylan, Donna and David-they were all there to welcome her home. David and Steve came over to help her into the house while Brandon grabbed her bag from the hospital. The gang followed, close behind.

A/N: please take a minute and review this chapter it will be greatly appreciated


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